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by Dora's Makeup

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

an old e-mail I found....funny

Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women
Pregnancy Q & A & more!
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a torn! ado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college
"ESTROGEN ISSUES"
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
1.. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yester

5 comments:

mitchells2000 said...

too funny! :-)

mitchells2000 said...

ps... I finished my love story... I didn't know if you've had time to check it out!

mitchells2000 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
hartgirlies said...

I am so excited that I got my first comment. Somehow I thought it would be Amy, but I guess a total stranger would do!! Your blog is so cool! Any tips on picture slideshows? I do not know what I am doing. Can you play music on your blog too? I will give you my email so you can answer if you have time. Thanks for checking me out! Your boys are so beautiful! hartgirlies@yahoo.com
Shelly

mom2mine said...

Thanks for the giggle Dora!

I remember being offended by some of these type things before I had children... they are no longer offensive, they are life!

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